On day 15 I wrote about the point of self-responsibility and why I did not want it. My argument was that I did not opt for coming here into this life or this body (at least I cannot remember it) and since it was not my choice I didn’t want to take responsibility for it. I did not want to be forced into any kind of responsibility that was forced on me without my free acceptance of it. So I wanted to give up my responsibility for my life and…
During the past few days I realized that a number of feelings repeatedly arose. For example I had been feeling upset a couple of times by the reactions and demands that others expressed towards me. I accused them for being dishonest, self-centered, egoistic, and for betrying and exploiting me in dishonesty and realized that such feelings had affected major life changing decisions in my recent past. In this I was accepting myself as the victim, which allowed to me accuse others and blame them for my need to change my…
