Day 89 – Stopping My Porn Addiction

It has been a rough journey during the past couple of weeks. In retrospect I can see quite clearly, how my porn addiction has caused a couple of bad decisions and developments in my life during the past years even, that led me deeply into social isolation and depression. I attribute this to my constant desire for sexual gratification through either porn and masturbation, or sex with my partner. This need grew constantly over the years and culminated more recently in an awareness of the problem, so that I could…

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Day 88: Quitting Desteni–or rather not?

I woke up this morning having this thought about Desteni in my mind that I wanted to capture. I was still sleepy but I got up to write it down. The thought was to give up Desteni. Human Design tells us to not follow the mind and to not make any decisions from the mind. In my Journey-to-life blogs I always make decisions from the mind. At least I did and I am not sure whether or not it is possible to make decisions as myself (according to HD) when…

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Day 84: Stopping the abuse of life–who do I trust?

Towards the end of last year I became more and more aware of the fact that I was looking for truth and wisdom mostly, if not exclusively, outside of myself and that I actually had no inner knowledge whatsoever of myself and by myself, or very little at least. All I knew seemed to have its origins elsewhere. For example in the books and blogs I read (which was a lot), in the opinions of others, in my cultural conditioning and what I thus had accepted about the truth of…

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Day 83: The pursuit of Perfection–a humbling experience

When I look at some of the other Journey-to-life blogs and the Desteni material collection in general I wonder who it was that has made this enormous effort to put it all out there for us. I find it well explained and well presented too. And its a huge collection. I see the same good and serious work on many other sites on the web as well, whereas my writing is generally still very scattered, unorganized, and often times sloppy. I attribute this to the fact that I feel very…

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Day 82: Mission Statement and Plan of Action

My Mission

After having had this deep revelation about my self-deception yesterday, I found that the commitments I had made on Day 81 are not specific enough for me to guide me through the day. This is particularly a problem in a situation in which I live alone with no people to connect with, as in my current situation. So what I need is a plan for the day that is in line with the commitments I have made and also in line with what is best for all. So this daily…

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Day 81: Backed up against the wall of my own illusions

Two days ago, on Jan 1, 2021, I embarked on a 78-Day Tarot-Challenge in order to get in touch with my inner process. I wanted to use the Tarot particularly to find out more about the driving forces that I had allowed to direct my life and hoped that through studying the Tarot I would become better able to use my intuition more clearly as I was sensing that I could not trust my mind any longer. Actually, whenever I thought I had understood something through my mind about me…

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Day 32: Is my mind really my own? A question of life and death

After a few days of writing my journey-to-life blog I feel great confusion in my mind. It becomes apparent to me that I carry a lot of ideas in my mind, sometimes very conflicting ideas, and that the mind does not even stop collecting more ideas. It is like a sponge, that sucks up all ideas it can find. And then it gets very confused about those ideas, what to do with them, how to react to them, how to apply them, which ones to select to focus on, which…

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Day 27: My Relationship with Money – Nothing has changed in a year

It has been a year since I last wrote here. And that year was wasted with concerns about money. Essentially I was worried about keeping my assets, which for me meant keeping my boat afloat through upgrades and investments. These have consumed large amounts of money and I spent that money only to not lose my boat and also installing major upgrades to make it safer, easier to sail, and more appealing to guests through which I hope to generate enough income to survive for me an my girlfriend. The…

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Day 26: My relationship with money – and this world

During the past days I have not had company and thus I took my freedom to stop working on the boat and rather reflect a bit on my life and where I want to go with it. I could have easily written daily Journey-to-Life blogs or continue with my DIP-Process, but both did not appeal to me. There was something inside that blocked me from doing it. I just could not find an issues to write a blog about or find a negative/emotional attachment to write about. I banged my…

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Day 25: My Relation with Money

On day 24 I wrote about the question how I see and define myself in this world. When I review my self-committment statements they sound pretty vague and unspecific. This does not seem to be very helpful, even to me, as even after two days I cannot always remember what I meant by them. Therefore, I want to pick up those statements, one each day, and make them more specific. “I commit myself to stop accepting other peoples ideas as my own simply because they sound true and advanced, or…

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